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‘Inane Chatter’ Category

  1. Splendificus and other made up words

    January 14, 2011 by Asim

    For years I’ve always wanted to do that Malcolm X thing of copying out the dictionary and their meanings just to expand my vocabulary. Every time I start I end up wishing I could just copy and paste it instead and give up after the first page.

    I just finished an app for the n900 to access the user created dictionary so I could get into there and delete a few of my stupid attempts at words. When I finally got in there; I actually seriously got shocked by the amount of made up words I use in text messages and emails.

    Brodog, Bromeo, Brostafarion, Homedog, Hunkalicious, Ninja-ing, Splendificus, Ross-tafarian and the countless dozens of various variations on names.

    I need to cut that stuff out and actually finally copy out the dictionary so I can actually use good words rather than making ones up.

    App will be up on freemantle servers at the weekend if you’re on maemo, you should totally get it!

    Category Inane Chatter, Via n900 | Tags: | Comments Off

  2. Holiday Irks

    January 2, 2011 by Asim

    I do get easily irritated, its a damn irritation. If I have to fly anywhere by the time we land I’m the most irritable dude on the planet. That is all thanks to the fact that I’m afraid of flying. Flight simulator 98 + a flight where the wing caught fire = a nervous passenger. My hatred and fear of flying aside, one thing above all else irritated the hell out of me while I was in Egypt and in Italy earlier last year.

    Hearing the word “facebook” being used in dozens of foreign languages. Everything from Spanish to Finnish to Dutch, I heard so many fellow tourists use the word. It was usually followed with variations on the word profile or update. You’re on holiday, who knows if you’ll ever see or experience what you are doing again? Yet all you are worried about is your damn facebook profile picture and/or status update.

    Facebook is a great tool but its like we’re all becoming slaves to it.

    Category Inane Chatter, Science and Technology, Via n900 | Tags: | 2 Comments

  3. Five Reasons

    December 2, 2010 by Asim

    Five reasons why i’m going to Skye instead of Egypt for my birthday,

    1. Skye is cheaper to get to
    2. I don’t need to speak Arabic to the locals (unless I want to scare them)
    3. I can go extreme Ironing in Skye. The thrill of an extreme sport mixed with the satisfaction of a freshly ironed shirt.
    4. I have a fear of Camels
    5. I hate tourists.

    Category Inane Chatter | Tags: | Comments Off

  4. Rage against recycling

    November 6, 2010 by Asim

    So, I woke up this morning to a missing bin. My blue recycle bin for plastic and paper, which I kept in my garden had vanished.

    It would appear that some anti recyclists or (little bastards) went into my back garden and stole my bin. I’m assumed that some little cunts stole it to burn for guy Fawkes night.

    I lived 14 years in Anderston, one of the roughest areas in Glasgow and we were never robbed once. But now I live in an affluent area, I’m wondering what is going to happen next, perhaps they may steal my washing pegs right off my washing line?

    After talking about the incident with one of my best friends Shaun, it would appear that he also had his recycle bin stolen, last week.

    How smexy are we?Shaun like me; is coloured but, Shaun lives 40 miles away in Edinburgh, so we’re under the assumption that maybe there is a roving gang of Recycle Bin thieves who prey on coloured folk.

    There appears to be some sort reactionary revolutionary anti recycling movement on the prowl we’re guessing they are called:

    “The front for the liberation of recycling bins from coloured folk”

    If you have any information on this anti recycling, anti darkie organisation please get in touch. Only together can we fight this menace.

    Category Inane Chatter, Questionable Questions | Tags: | 2 Comments

  5. Robert is my homie 4 life

    October 23, 2010 by Asim

    Asim with Paul

    So yeah Roberts wedding a few weeks ago, it was quite Awesome.

    (photo of me in the shervani with Paul)

    Although I did have quite the dilemma as to what to get him as a wedding present. I know at least three people got Karen and him picture frames. But who prints out photos these days alas. I ended up just shoving money in a card its not the best present but yeah I’ve since got them some tickets to the final of SCOTY, lets hope they have fun there!

    The wedding present is traditionally something that should be enjoyed the bride and groom in their married life. I had thought about getting them a penis pump. I’ve always wondered about penis pumps well mostly if they cause deflation, but who knows, well Robert might after I get him one, one day. After all he’s my homie 4 life.

    Gangsta.

    Category Inane Chatter | Tags: | Comments Off

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